Ode to a Rose

Thine colors are different,

white, pink and red-

a symbol of love and more they say;

And though there maybe thorns,

yet you’re most beautiful

of all flowering plants.

The petals are soft like velvet and it

takes me back to those days

when one summer morn,

mother first planted a rose at home.

It was in a pot and she watered it every day,

I dug the soil and added manure 

every now and then.

Soon it grew tall,

Pink ‘damasks’ adorned the branches and 

the fragrance was quite intoxicating.

I stood there and enjoyed your beauty

for a long time!

I didn’t understand the meaning then,

And years later found that-

within the many petals

lay hidden the soul. 

And when they unfold slowly,

thine qualities are revealed

in the form of sweet fragrance!

Thus, a shining example you’re 

to the whole world.

The months have passed and thine 

has not only added beauty

to my small garden,

but also brought happiness to the others-

little birds and butterflies

that visit every day.

And when they fly around and 

sing in joy,

My heart swells with pride

as I had tended thee with love.

Such is the bond between us

and it can’t be broken,

by man or nature.

But we gave and took from each other-

love, patience and so forth;

They’re as important as sunlight and water

or the air we breathe.

All living things matter

The hibiscus shrub in our apartment has started blooming; I bring the flowers home and offer to the gods every day. She grows quietly in one corner and I doubt if anyone had noticed her. A bond has formed in the past few weeks and if anything were to disturb her happiness, it sure does affect me. For I don’t see her merely as a plant but as a living thing, like the rest of us. That is why I was maddened on seeing her tied to a pipe last evening. With a wire and all the branches pressed together. Like how one would pack an artificial Christmas tree in the carton box after use! She appeared half dead already and it was pathetic to see her. The watchman told it was done by one of the men working in the office downstairs. Whose yellow bike stood near the shrub and I noticed it of late. For that matter there are many bikes and all occupy the backside of our apartment.

The hibiscus shrub had drooped a little due to the rains on and off. But never posed any problems as such. Now I don’t understand why it is necessary to park the vehicle next to the shrub every day! As she’s quite small and wouldn’t offer much shade… Instead of under the coconut, mango and neem trees in our apartment. There are croutons, money plant, basil etc. growing as well. I’ve noticed bikes being parked in a zig zag manner near them too. It isn’t the right place; I thought it might affect their privacy and growth. Not that they’d shared this verbally with me. But you can sense it, can’t you? So I asked the watchman to inform them to park their bikes on the roadside. Where there were more trees and offered better shade. Otherwise at some place and away from the plants in our apartment. It went on deaf ears as usual.

Next morning I spoke to the person and he removed his bike. The wire was taken off too. The hibiscus shrub was set free and I breathed a sigh of relief finally. I was also happy it hadn’t resulted in an argument and he had accepted my request readily. I wished her to grow happily and without any restrictions. And lean on a stick which was gently wound with a rope when she grew taller. But our watchman looked displeased and hardly understood what was being said.

‘If you don’t care about the shrub, why not cut it?’ I asked. Like the way he’d had cut down the red Ixora shrub a year back. But he didn’t argue and said about doing it if I wanted. He also informed the association secretary’s wife hadn’t objected and was happy with the shrub secured tightly to the pipe.

‘Then don’t grow anymore plants here..,’ I said annoyed. ‘I mean, does it make any sense growing and cutting off midway?’

He said the shrub wouldn’t be affected in any way. That I could still pull down the branches and take the flowers every day. He didn’t catch my point and I was quite disappointed. It was disheartening to know he treated her as some inanimate object, while I thought he loved her all along. I resigned to the fact that was all the exposure he’d had in life. That he just followed the instructions and never used his thinking cap at anytime. It also reminded me of those who failed to connect emotionally with their children. But I soon realised he was just doing his job and had no say in this matter. And if at all I should be mad at it was the association secretary’s wife. With whom I’d had discussed about the Barleria Perionitis shrub long time back. She produced yellow flowers and it was a treat to watch her at the end of year always. But she was cut down without anyone’s knowledge one day. Perhaps by the watchman or sweeper. It was a shock as I hadn’t thought she would be gone so soon. I’d had brought up the issue; requested her and her husband (secretary) to preserve all the plants thereafter. But if anyone found it inconvenient while taking in and out their car (open car park), then to trim a little now and then. But never to cut down the plants completely. I understood how much the couple valued my speech now.

I came home with mixed feelings. I sat down on the sofa and was lost in thought. In this fast paced life, people hardly cared about other things. I wasn’t into nature until Covid-19. And among the many lessons it gave one, I’m thankful it had helped find joy in simple things. I observed the birds, animals and greenery around. Because when everything came to a standstill, it was their presence which gave hope and happiness. I took interest in my own small garden afterwards. Talked to the plants everyday and enjoyed watching them grow. You give and receive in life. So I went around the apartment; spoke to the plants and trees regularly. It didn’t matter if people thought I was crazy. It was sad to see one of the mango trees cut down fully few years back. Which was due to improper care from our side. I remember standing close by and motivating her not to give up each time.

I know the bike would be parked near the hibiscus shrub tomorrow. Then the day after and so on. Until she became a hindrance of some sort and would be cut down for good. It’s sad to think her life would end this way. The cream and red coloured hibiscuses which stole my heart every time… I wondered if it was difficult to be considerate towards all living things. But it’d to come from within and couldn’t be taught by anyone. Perhaps a love for Nature might help. I prayed for her long life and no harm came her way. I didn’t pluck the flowers afterwards and only saw her sometimes. Because I didn’t want to get too attached and have my heart broken again.

The best School for my child:

‘I am changing my son’s school once again…,’ informed my friend one evening. ‘He would go to the prestigious XYZ International School from next month onward.’

‘Oh congrats, but I thought you were quite satisfied with his present school,’ I commented at once. “You’re working as a Teacher in the same school and he’s right under your nose… So why change his school for the third time?”

‘Well it’s because I am not too happy with the quality of Teachers, especially when it comes to the higher grades…,’ explained my friend. ‘Their teaching is not up to the mark and that’s the plain truth!’

Later that evening, my husband and I had a serious discussion on this topic. We analyzed about many things – regarding the reputation of the school, the quality of Teachers, the facilities provided, the academic results, programs contributing to the overall personality of the child and so on and so forth. However, we couldn’t find a suitable reason or understand why my friend had decided to pull out her son abruptly from that school… Trust me, it’s a reputed International School in the city and they have delivered good results in the past!

However my friend couldn’t be totally blamed because, she isn’t the only one suffering from this kind of disorder and there are a host of parents who seem to share the same feelings like her. Although I am a practical person and don’t give importance to such things, still when a close friend or relative brings up the topic once in a while, it sometimes creates unnecessary fears and doubts in my mind. That’s when I lose confidence in myself and begin to side with their decisions blindly! Therefore I was quite confused and disturbed with regards to my friend’s decision. It affected me a lot and I began to reflect about a few things quite seriously. And the question that immediately came to my mind was: ‘Are we doing the right thing for our child?’

With schools offering different curriculums (Cambridge, IB apart from CBSE i & ISC) and promising excellent results these days, it has become increasingly difficult for parents to choose the right or best school for their wards. And especially if you are living in a cosmopolitan country like Singapore, the choices are too many really…There are many good schools (both local and International) in the city and cater to the various requirements of the parents.

Earlier, a ‘School’ was thought to be a place wherein children assembled in a centralized location and gained knowledge under the guidance of Teachers. Apart from learning good values, children learnt different subjects and also some social skills. However that perspective has changed in the recent past. In the last decade or so, there has been a paradigm shift and parents are saying ‘good bye’ to the old ways of teachings rapidly. They have become more informed, willing to explore new paths and open to the various changes that are happening in the education system. They no longer view the school as an institution that merely imparts education but rather consider it as a place that contributes to the overall development of their child. From the Convergent method of teaching (that supports knowledge transmission from teachers to students) more parents are opting for the Divergent method of teaching (that supports student learning and self-expression) now. However it is important to note that both these methods are interdependent and necessary in the child’s overall learning process.

If we look at some International Schools in Singapore, their curriculum is structured in a holistic way. They give more importance for the individual needs of students and foster independent thinking in them. They don’t focus much on exams which is thought mainly to test a child’s ability in memorizing things rather than having thorough understanding of the subject by them. The class size is also small and there’s better Teacher–student ratio as a result. But the main point to consider is the ‘affordability’ factor as they charge heftily as compared to the normal public schools in the city.

Therefore in the quest to give the best ‘schooling’ experience for their wards, parents are willing to shell out any amount of money these days… As a result, their expectations from both the school and the children are extremely high. But the truth is nothing gives 100% satisfaction for anyone in this world! Be it educating the child in an International or a Public School, there’ll be drawbacks wherever one goes…. If the statement is wrong, then why are some parents still unhappy and changing the school of their child often? In my opinion, it’s better to reduce our expectation levels so we can avoid disappointments and unnecessary worries in our lives. It’s important to understand that we are dealing with a ‘complex’ system and many problems have to be addressed in the process. Also this isn’t something that could be solved by an institution or group of Teachers alone and students need to take help from other sources as well. They could learn from their parents, grandparents, relatives, surf the net and read relevant books for more information and so on… Also, parents should collect all relevant information and think carefully before changing the school of their wards. While taking feedback from friends/ relatives in this area is a sensible thing to do, parents should remember that it’s their own choice and decision in the end! And when the final decision has been taken, they should give sufficient time for the child to settle down in the new system.

‘So which is the best school for your child?’

Perhaps it’s a difficult question to answer and might vary from one individual to another. But what parents ultimately need to realize is, it’s not the money they spend on the development of their child that actually counts now. And, it’s how well the child utilizes the available resources and succeeds in his or her life that matter in the end!